Epitaph Episode 23: Pages 110-115

René S. Garcia, Jr.·
Epitaph

Who cares: The Sequel.

Now, Let’s Write This Movie!

Epitaph-110-115

René S. Garcia, Jr.

One Response

  1. Great job moving Everett and Long’s relationship to a culmination point. I agree with Brian that nuances like Everett considering his late wife’s opinion/approval on his dealings with Long (revenge versus justice) adds a touch of nostalgia, vulnerability as well as authenticity to Everett’s commitment to bringing Long to justice (he is taking a higher ground in his wife’s honor/high opinion of him).

    In the dialog between Long and Everett, when Everett reveals that his family did not survive the train crash, I would make minor tweaks to the exchange. When Long points to the fact that Everette survived, I would have Everett respond “I did. My family did not.” Also, I would not have Everett ask Long if he remembers Everett family’s screams. There is no way he could…having had no knowledge of Everett nor his family being on that train that day. The question seems rhetorical. Instead, I would have Everett say something to the effect that his family’s screams chill his bones every time his memory takes him back to that fatal day. And every time he sees Long, he is back on that train, helplessly watching his wife and child fade out of his life.

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