On behalf of Brian and myself, I’d just like to say thank you to everyone who watches our videos and supports this project. I know that we’re only 8 episodes in, but it feels like we’ve come a very long way in terms of this script. I have close to 50 pages that I’m happy with, and I know that I’d never be this far this quickly without this project prodding me on. And the project wouldn’t exist without the people who support the channel and follow us on social. So, once again, thank you.
With that said, I’m coming to a point in the script where I can mostly see the path to completion clearly. We’ve established characters, relationships, and plot; now it’s time to just let them all loose to reach the inevitable end. Reaching this point, however, has revealed a few gaps that needed addressing. So, I’ve gone back through the script and shored it up in a few places. I’ve introduced characters earlier, adjusted some interactions, and toned down one of the more genre-bending scenes as per Brian’s feedback.
Here are the changes:
Page 17: Mortimer Charon and Ms. Stapleton are introduced much earlier. I’ve given them a bit of character so that they stand out more. Also, I introduce Rebecca Hayes, who is the courtesan at the 9 Lives that Stan has a soft (maybe hard?) spot for.
Page 25: I’ve included Mortimer, Ms. Stapleton, Maggie, Tommy, and Ray in the gunfight as observers so that they don’t disappear from the audience’s mind.
Page 38: The flashback is now a dream sequence that happens before Long wakes. I’m beginning to tie in matching/related visuals to give a future cinematographer some ideas. So, in the case, young Long sleeping in the dream will suddenly wake as old Long in the cell. There’s opportunity here for a match cut. Later, I add matching visuals, like corpses in two separate locations or someone blowing out a candle in one room only to have a candle ignited in another room. I’m ambivalent on if I should be more explicit in my vision.
Page 42: The meteorite sequence is completely changed. It’s less sci-fi looking even though it’s still sci-fi feeling.
Beyond that, there are a few minor changes to dialog and interactions, but I don’t think I need to call them out here. We’ve still got a few new pages to discuss, so this milestone episode won’t be completely without a performance. Also, I think I want to be clearer on the boundaries of this project when Brian and I meet this weekend.
Now that you know where I’m at mentally and script-wise, Let’s Write This Movie!
Epitaph 1-48Here are Brian’s notes for this episode:
LWTM Show 8 Notes